When Did This Begin?
by Ziny-DiNozzo
Summary: Addison Montgomery has a story to tell. The story of how it all started... Meredith/Addison ... ONE SHOT ... Some smut ... AU-ish


_Well, i didn't expect this to become so long (infact i almost finished twice before deciding to stop here) and i guess its for_ **iam-kelly**_, _**gagaoverGA**_ and _**BlackRavenFishing**_ if for whatever reson you haven't read their stories i suggest you do. they're amazing (and a million times better then what ever crap i come out with)_

Anyway, here's 7000 words of love for your enjoyment.

* * *

**When Did This Begin?**

"I would have to say it started at Prom. Not in high school, no, I hadn't even met her then; she would have been a child. No I mean the Prom the hospital held for Camille, a young girl with ovarian cancer. I was there with Derek but… It was tough. And fake, I think it was a show, because before that well… ok, perhaps it wasn't Prom. Perhaps it was before that, months before that. Maybe it started the day I met her.

_Addison brushed her manicured nails through her perfectly styled red hair. She had to look perfect tonight. Apparently while she'd been in New York trying to pretend Mark was faithful to her Derek too had been paying a bit of attention to other women. So when Richard called she hardly hesitated to end things with Mark and fly out to Seattle, she needed to see Derek, to see this other women, to see what was so special about it Derek would throw away eleven years of marriage and the four years they'd spent together before that._

_So she had dressed in her new underwear, on the odd chance they fell into her hotel bed, a black dress (one of his favourites), stockings, heels and of course her new designer black coat. She was quite pleased with herself, her make-up was flawless and not a hair was out of place as she walked confidently into the entrance of Seattle Grace Hospital. It was when she saw the other woman her confidence vanished, but it only lasted a second and soon Addison was walking over to her husband and the obviously younger woman._

_Derek looked horrified to see her and Addison noted that he immediately apologised to the blonde who seemed confused and worried. Addison smiled and introduced herself, using her married name as a kind of test. The girl's confusion was apparent as she repeated the name in the form of a question, most likely clinging to the chance Addison was one of Derek's sisters (if she even knew Derek had sisters). Addison decided to cut the girl some slack and be upfront about it, no sugar coating or beating around the bush, just a blunt question which Addison hoped (_or at least she did now_) didn't break the girl's heart._

_The girl was frozen, staring at Addison, then at Derek. Addison saw tears swell in her eyes and an anger rage in them before she blindly pushed passed him and marched out of the hospital ignoring Derek as he pleaded and called after her, and when he tried to follow, Addison smiled almost proudly as the blonde told him where he could shove his apologies._

_She chuckled and he turned, letting his mistress run off. Derek tried to gage why she was there, trying to ask if she wanted sex or a divorce without actually asking. Addison just decided to play with him, tease him a bit; torment him. And maybe flirt a little. She mentioned his hair and drinking and falling into bed, but she knew that wasn't going to happen, even if she was wearing her sexiest underwear specially._

_He seemed surprised when she spoke of Richard but she shrugged it off, what the chief decide to say or not say to Derek didn't matter, she had a case to get to and maybe a few questions to ask about this other woman, she was filled with the urge to meet her properly, to talk to her, to make sense of her affair with Derek. So with one last smiled she lent in close and whispered seductively into Derek's ear, hoping to at least make him uneasy, but let's face it, her arrival would have already done that._

I had definitely noticed her, I mean I noticed her, not what she was but actually _her_. I suppose every cheated on wife notices the other woman but that's what they see them as, some slut who ruined their marriage or a whore who screwed a married man. But I noticed her. How she acted, how she looked, how she smelt. She was confident and insecure, she was nervous and rambled and she was clumsy and messy. Her hair was often un-brushed and unkempt and she sometimes had food or coffee stains on her scrubs. I told Derek after she'd gone that first night she seemed sweet, and she is. She's compassionate and loyal and an excellent doctor and that's what I noticed. I noticed her. I noticed how easily Derek fell for her, how easy it would be for anyone to fall for her. So yeah, it must have started when I met her. I just didn't know it until later.

I maybe started to suspect myself when I felt compelled to buy her juju the day we lost a patient. She hadn't expected it even though it was our surgery, and it had surprised Derek even though we were all friends, well, "friends". Thinking back I suppose they became "friends" because they still loved each other and they needed to have something more then a professional relationship, and the two of us… well between the two of us it wasn't real, it didn't seem like it to me anyway. It was very fake and it was forced and I think we did it basically to make Derek happy.

I knew something was happening when she started to date the vet we shared over our shared dog, Doc, which is another thing all together, mainly concerning Derek and her, but that's beside the point. I hadn't known about the vet at first. When rooms became tense I suspected the two of them, she and Derek that is, had restarted their affair, or perhaps hadn't stopped, and it felt a lot like they were having a fight, a lovers quarrel.

I was jealous, which I know is understandable, but I felt more like… It wasn't about Derek. It was about her, my friend, even if it was a fake friendship, hurting me. It felt like she was the one cheating on me.

When I asked her and she told me the truth about the vet I realised that yes, I was jealous, and yes it was because in my mind she was cheating on me, but she was also cheating on Derek. That is to say Derek still loved her but… so did I.

I didn't accept that, and I ignored the feeling, instead I thrust all my frustrations at Derek and rather publicly broke down and yelled at him because it seemed the thing to do. I yelled at him trying to get him to notice me, to care for me rather then care for her. I ended up yelling rather loudly at him that of course he wouldn't notice me or care for me; I wasn't her.

But we moved on. I had let go of my frustration and he… well I don't know what he did but somehow he ended up asking me to Prom, yes that same Prom, the one for Camille. We went, and it brought back horrible memories of my high school Prom with Skippy Gold but… when I saw her I was amazed. I was mesmerised and went straight to the punch hoping against hope someone had thought to put alcohol in it.

That was when I realised.

But of course nothing happened then, unless you count the adulterous sex she had with Derek. The next day, while Derek was in quarantine at the hospital, I found her panties in his tux. They were black and lacy and sexy and I had flash backs to the few girls I dated in high school and college before Derek. I couldn't leave them in his tux. I couldn't live in that God forsaken trailer with her panties there too. It was distracting and it was making me very- It wasn't right for me to be getting hot and bothered about them when she was most clearly not interested in me and probably had no idea her underwear had landed in my possession.

The story needs to skip ahead a bit I think, past my divorce and the short lived relationships between her and both Derek and the vet. Going over that and more to the day her half-sister came in to the hospital as my patient and stupidly I let my feelings influence my actions and I let her scrub in on her sister's c-section.

"_You left me hanging in there Grey." Addison said trying to control her anger at the situation, she shouldn't have been so stupid as to let Meredith be the intern on this case, there was a rule against family treating family for a reason._

_"I'm sorry… I'm just... sorry. Do you need me to scrub in on the baby?" Meredith asked, fumbling her words,_

_"No, I need you to keep Molly and her mother apprised of the baby's condition while I operate."_

_"I'm sure they'd rather talk to you." Meredith said, Addison could tell she wanted to get out of the situation, wanted to run from her second family and herself,_

_However much she understood Meredith, Addison still needed to make sure the intern did her job, "The baby has Jujenal Atresia. She may die. I got consent but I don't have time for updates."_

_"I think I would really learn a lot from observing this."_

_"It was a mistake to let you in the OR with your family in the first place. It's not going to happen again." Addison said leaving no room for discussion, "Check in with me every hour."_

_As they headed their separate ways, Addison to save Meredith's niece, Meredith to hide from her step mother, Addison felt a stab of regret. She wanted to tell Meredith she understood, she wanted to comfort her, to hold her hand. She wanted to hug her and hold her in her arms, keeping the younger woman close and safe. She wanted to kiss her._

When I realised that the feelings were of lust, or well, they were a sexual attraction, and knowing that was… it was hard. Because I really thought that- I don't know what I thought. But being caught between wanting to kill her and kiss her was tough.

She continued to fumble with her sister and niece's case. During her rounds one day she and the other interns with Miranda came into the NICU; she presented but half way through her father stepped into the room and she froze. It took all my energy not to rush to her and take her in my arms. That day was the first time I lost control of what I called in my head Intern Troubles.

_Addison stepped into the NICU and saw Meredith looking over her niece, she smiled softly at the sight and closed the door, "Grey,"_

"_Oh hey. Sorry, I know I probably shouldn't be here but, well I was just checking on her capillary refills."_

"_No that's good, it's good." Addison reassured her, walking over to stand next to Meredith and look over Laura, "We all need a little human contact from time to time."_

"_This sucks." Meredith sighed, "She hasn't lived yet. She's still innocent; she doesn't deserve this. She hasn't even had a chance to deserve this."_

_"Yea, you're right." Addison murmured, "It does suck watching them struggle. And that part never stops sucking. But," Addison looked over Meredith and studied her while the blonde intern continued to look down at the baby before them, _

"_then you get to see a baby heal and um, they get to go home… and you just imagine this whole life that they're going to live. Well there's noting better than that." Meredith looked up and her blue eyes met Addison's, "And that part never changes." Addison finished,_

_Meredith searched Addison's eyes and Addison let hers dip to Meredith's mouth. It was enticing, and very tempting. She wanted nothing more then to lean forward just that little bit, and let her lips brush Meredith's. Meredith it seemed, wanted this too as she inched forward, prompting Addison to do the same, they were millimetres from it, Addison could feel her nose ghost over Meredith's cheek, she could feel Meredith's warm breath mingling with her own, she was about to let her eyes close when the door opened suddenly and she sprang back, and Meredith jumped away too backing to the door, the both of them muttered apologies as the nurse that interrupted them walked passed to another patient._

_Meredith left and Addison sighed and groaned, she let her head fall into her hand and she rubbed her eyes trying to clear her clouded mind._

I lost control and I almost kissed her. In the hospital of all places, I mean God; could we have found a worse place? Oh, yes, I guess we could have, right in front of the nurses, or the chief, or Mark, or worse Derek. But nothing happened of that. We were interrupted by a nurse and she said nothing, saw nothing- or at least I hoped she didn't. Until I lost control again. It wasn't long after that slip in the NICU, just after O'Malley's father had died.

_Meredith was walking from the hospital, it was raining and she didn't have an umbrella. Behind her was Addison, with a rather large umbrella. The red head ran forward, "Meredith," she called, the intern stopped,_

_Addison moved to her, "Here, we'll share my umbrella."_

"_Thanks." Meredith smiled. They walked to Meredith's car slowly and in silence, it was semi awkward but Addison was thankful for it._

"_This is me," Meredith said pointing to her jeep, Addison smiled and the two squeezed between Meredith's car and the one parked next to it, Meredith climbed into the car and placed her bag in the back seat. Addison was about to turn around and head to her own car, maybe drive over to Joe's when Meredith called out to her, "Addison,"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Do you have a dad?"_

_Addison though of the Captain, of his endless lies and affairs, of her mother and secrets she'd kept from her, eventually she answered, "Not really."_

"_Yeah… Me either."  
_

_On impulse Addison reached out and brushed back some of Meredith's hair, Meredith looked up as Addison's hand slid down and caressed Meredith's neck, her fingertips playing with her hairline; Meredith reached up and placed her hand over Addison's. The red head looked at her carefully, before throwing reason behind her, leaning down, and taking Meredith in a kiss._

_It was soft and unsure, but when Meredith kissed back and wrapped her hands around Addison's neck it became more definite. Addison's confidence boosted and she deepened the kiss before slowly pulling away and looking into Meredith's eyes trying to gage what the younger woman was thinking, but she couldn't, so she straightened up and murmured softly "Goodnight," before walking away with her umbrella. _

Kissing her through the door of her car in the hospital parking lot is only marginally better then almost kissing her in the NICU, I mean we could have been seen by anyone. But we weren't. And well, kissing her was great. It was a good kiss, an excellent kiss, and it would keep her in my head for weeks. Yes, she got to me, I couldn't stop thinking about it, and I ignored her, as she basically ignored me, we ignored each other and went about our lives as if it didn't happen. Well… she did, I didn't. I couldn't. Like I said, she was in my head and I couldn't get her out.

So while I tried to forget it, ignore it, I couldn't stop myself from noticing her. I could sense it when she entered a room, I could smell lavender when she was around and I couldn't stop looking at her. Not matter how obvious it became, no matter who was around to see I just could not stop. It got to the point where I would actually stop everything and track her with my eyes.

_Meredith was dressed in her civilian clothes, she'd just spent half an hour with Izzie in the locker room getting ready to go out to a bar that(on Izzie's insistence) wasn't Joe's. She was walking through the hospital trying to find Cristina when she passed Addison who sat at a nurse's station._

_Addison's eyes went dark, and the glasses she'd been fiddling with went to her mouth as she bit the ends of them softly, her gaze following the blonde who wore tight fitting jeans, boots, and an indigo shirt that hugged her perfectly._

_Meredith's hair had been curled and sprayed and looked stunning, and her dark eye make up turned her blue/grey orbs into a black piercing gaze._

_Callie who was standing near by, looking up at the surgical board noticed Meredith strutting passed, and her friend staring after her. She smiled to herself and walked over, "You know those cartoons where there's a bear or whatever, and it's starving and it looks at a table. And the table turns into this delicious cooked turkey with like, lines of deliciousness coming of it..." she grinned as she teased her friend, who sat up straight and immediately defended herself,_

_"I was not looking at her like that. Because she is the help and I am not going to be sleeping with the help."_

_Callie snorted, "She's not just the help."_

"_Exactly," Addison said sharply, giving Callie a look, "She's a lot of other things that makes it inappropriate for me to be just thinking about…" She groaned, "I need a distraction."_

"_I have just the thing," Callie smiled, "George and I hit Vegas, and well, we got married."_

I guess you want to know what confirmed it for me. The moment that made me accept that this wasn't just an attraction or a lust. I had fallen in love with her. That moment came crashing over me, weeks after the kiss, during the Ferry Crash of Elliot Bay, you heard about that right? Who am I kidding, everyone in the country heard about it.

Miranda had taken her interns, most of them anyway, to the crash site. From I've found out, the group understandably split up, Miranda went to the people on the bay and treated them until she was called back to the hospital, O'Malley did the same until he found a mother who'd lost her son, Stevens found her self a patient trapped under a car in the Ferry, Karev found a pregnant Jane Doe but she… She found a lost little girl, Derek told me, and a patient at the edge of the Bay, she'd treated the man and covered him with her jacket, but then she'd disappeared, the man was found by paramedics and Derek grew worried. He found her with the help of the little girl who told him she was in the water. She'd fallen in and he brought her to the hospital immediately.

She was dead.

What confirmed it for me was when I walked into that Trauma room and she lay ahead of me, covered in heating blankets, intubated, and hooked to monitors. Her skin was ghostly, tinted blue and my breath caught. It felt like my heart was going to burst into flames and implode. It was the scariest thing I've ever experienced.

But they pulled it off. She came back and woke up and the relief that washed over me was... I went to see her that night; she was sitting alone in her room. We talked. About anything and everything, except that one thing that really needed to be talked about.

_Callie walked along a corridor, she saw Addison leaning over a close by nurse's station fiddling with her cell phone so the ortho resident moved to her, "Hey."  
_

"_Hey." Addison smiled, "How's it going?"_

"_I caught George in a lie the other day. He said he spent the day in the clinic when he spent it doing God knows what with Izzie Stevens. It's probably nothing, right?"_

"_Right." Addison said,_

_"Right." Callie sighed, "So how's your man whore? Miraculously reformed?"_

_Addison snorted, "He's not my man whore."_

"_He so is."_

_The redhead sighed, "He thinks we were amazing together, that if I hadn't… He thinks we'd still be together in New York, a family and happy."_

"_But…?"_

"_But we weren't. I would turn a blind eye to all the other women, the nurses, and the interns, the girl from the coffee shop and he would sleep with all of them. He's never going to turn into what I want."_

_Callie looked at her friend, "Which is."_

_"The whole thing." Addison said, "I want someone stable who barbeques and teaches little kids how to play catch; and that is not Mark Sloan, …Which doesn't explain why I've spent the entire day looking at Meredith Grey like a puppy at a chew toy."_

_Callie chuckled and smirked at Addison, "Why don't you just go there already?"_

_"Because!" Addison exclaimed, "She doesn't barbeque either. And if she did she'd probably give everyone food poisoning." Callie snorted and Addison sighed, continuing, "Plus, she's about twelve years old, can fit all her belongings in a milk crate."_

_"I don't know." Callie said, "Girls like Grey... at least you know, she'll never lie to you, she's been hurt and she won't put someone else through that. Girls like her mess around in their twenties but then they settle down, have a few kids and you know, teach them to play catch."_

_"Maybe..." Addison groaned and tapped the sides of her head trying to clear her mind, "I need to stop thinking about both of them."_

We never did speak of the kiss; it doesn't even matter now, we having more pressing things to talk about.

Last week… She was on my service, and together we were in surgery, it was an emergent surgery, there was a high chance of loosing either one of mum and baby, perhaps both. My temper was already running high from Karev who I suspected –I still suspect– is getting to close to our Jane Doe.

Anyway, during the surgery we managed to save the baby but the mother died. And when we went out to tell the poor woman's husband he broke down. He yelled and cried and it became apparent that with out my knowledge he'd been promised. She had stupidly, stupidly promised him we would save his wife and child; that we would save both.

The first rule of being a doctor, never promise a good outcome.

_Addison marched through the corridors searching until she saw Meredith moving toward the NICU, "Grey." She said,_

_"Hey," Meredith said nervously, "I was just checking up on the baby."_

_"Do I have another Laura Grey situation on my hands?"_

"_What?" Meredith gaped, "Are you serious?_

_"I have never seen you so attentive with a patient's family. You're always there, holding his hand, checking the baby's stats, running tests, making promises you damn well know better then to make!"_

_"It's my job."_

_"No, it's my job." Addison raged, "I'm her doctor you're my intern."_

_"Which is why I have to know the patient's history, I have to monitor that baby's stats at all times because I'm not about to stand next to you in your OR and be anything less than over prepared." Meredith yelled back, _

_As Meredith did so, Addison felt something inside of her bubble up, she was loosing control and in her head all she could hear was Callie's voice echoing, "Just go there,"_

"_Ok?" Meredith continued to argue, "There's no way I'm going to go to work everyday with a surgeon like you and not be on top of my game. So, if you wanna yell at me-" She was cut off as Addison grabbed her and pushed her back into the on call room that was feet from them, her red lips ravished Meredith's and Meredith immediately kissed back, pushing off Addison's coat and letting it hit the floor as the on call room door swung shut._

_Addison's hands grabbed the hem of Meredith's two top layers, (a long sleeved shirt and her scrub top), and the intern raised her arms to aid the removal of them before restarting their kiss and feverishly unbuttoning Addison's purple blouse._

_Addison yanked at Meredith's scrub pants and they moved down her legs quickly, leaning on Meredith and refusing to break the kiss Meredith stepped out of them before unzipping Addison's skirt and letting it fall to the floor and pool around the redhead's ankles._

_Addison moaned and pushed Meredith back into the wall, placing her bare thigh between Meredith's legs as Meredith unclasped Addison's bra and flung it away, her right hand immediately covering Addison's left breast._

_It was passionate and hot, Meredith ground her self on Addison's thigh and rolled her hips as she kissed Addison's shoulder and teased her breasts, the two heavily relied on the wall as Addison had hitched her left leg slightly so that Meredith hip bone hit her __just right__ with every thrust against her thigh. The red head clung to Meredith and scratched at her back, hissing and moaning deliciously into Meredith's ear._

"_God Meredith." She gasped, her nails digging into Meredith's back, she pulled back and kissed Meredith deeply, their tongues duelling and as Addison reached down with her right hand, and slipped her thumb into Meredith's panties she pressed hard against the intern's clit._

_Meredith's orgasm hit and she gasped, letting Addison drown the sound of her yell in a kiss, her hips ground against Addison's thigh and she pushed the red head into the corner between the wall and the bunk beds, one hand on her breast, the other delving into Addison's own panties, two of her long fingers slipping into her, as her thumb made similar movements as Addison's over her own clit._

_Addison spasmed against Meredith's body, Meredith let her ride out her orgasm, and her fingers continued to pleasure her, and –on pure impulse and desire– Meredith acted on the urge she'd had since that first kiss so long ago in the parking lot, and she dipped her head, taking one of Addison's nipples into her mouth._

_Addison's grip on Meredith tightened as her hand s clenched and her head flew back in such pleasure she didn't even feel it as she hit her head on the wall, instead she focused on her high as she came over Meredith's very skilled hand. In the back of her mind somewhere she registered how lucky it was she was coming to hard to call out, her mouth was open in a silent scream and when her high came to a stop she just stood there, leaning completely against the wall and bed, Meredith's full weight leaning on her too, the both of them panting and extremely satisfied._

_Slowly, Meredith's hand slid out of Addison and up to Meredith's lips. Addison's eyes darkened as the blonde licked her hand clean._

_The blonde grinned at her and lent forward, kissing Addison softly and slowly, allowing the red head to taste her self on Meredith's lips. When she pulled back Addison let her hands relax, a look of satisfaction and relief blossomed on Meredith features._

"_Did I hurt you?" Addison whispered, her fingers gently ghosting over the marks she could feel on Meredith's back,_

"_A little," Meredith murmured back,_

"_I'm sorry,"_

_Meredith smiled softly, "It was kinda a good hurt."_

_The two kissed again and Addison moaned softly into Meredith's mouth before pulling back slightly and whispering into the kiss, "What are we doing?"_

"_Kissing," Meredith replied, her hand caressing Addison's cheek, the other resting on her waist._

"_Mm, yeah but… what are we doing?"_

_Meredith pulled back and looked into Addison's eyes, "I don't know."_

"_Neither do I."_

_Meredith stepped back and Addison straightened up taking her own weight. Reaching out Addison turned Meredith around then bent down to look at the very angry looking marks she'd left, she traced them with her fingers, "I'm sorry."_

_Meredith turned around and took Addison's hands, "It's ok."_

_Addison stood and was struck by the ridiculousness of the situation. Meredith Grey, her ex-husband's ex-mistress/girlfriend was standing in front of her in only her mis matched underwear and tennis shoes. Herself was standing in sodden panties and high heels, if anyone were to walk in there was not telling- Oh God, Addison rushed quickly to the door and locked._

_Meredith's eyes flew wide, "You didn't lock the door?"_

"_I was preoccupied." She looked around, "Uhh… where's my bra?"_

_The two dressed and made them selves presentable, Addison was about to leave when Meredith grabbed her wrist, "Shouldn't we talk about this?"_

"_I can't. Not now." Addison left and Meredith stared after her frowning slightly._

I hadn't meant to push her into an on call room; I mean I had been fighting the urge to make love to her for weeks. I only wanted to berate her, to teach her a lesson and reprimand her a bit but when she started to defend herself I couldn't control it any more, and so I went there.

It was pretty amazing. And that night we talked, or well, kinda. We made plans to talk. But we haven't yet. Not properly, I mean how could we have? I haven't been back to the hospital.

_Addison walked through the lobby and she saw Meredith sitting in a chair to the left of her, reading a thick book, moving to the blonde Addison smiled, "Hey."_

_"Hey."_

_"I was gonna go get a drink." Addison said softly, "You wanna head over to Joe's?"_

_Meredith bit her lip, "I'm kinda, I really gotta study. Intern test is coming up so…"  
_

"_Ok. You know, um, I took that test once upon a time." She smiled, "We could, um, go back to my hotel. I could quiz you."_

_Meredith sighed, "Look... I would… I don't know what we are, and personally I would really love to go back and study with you but I have plans with my friends, and until we talk, until we figure out what this is, what we're doing, then I won't break my plans."_

_"Oh,"_

_"Today was great, and I really like you Addison. But we have no idea what we're doing and I just… I'm really busy; I have a lot of work. I don't have time to figure this out just yet but uh… could you wait for me? Could you wait until after the exam?"_

"_Yea, no, of course... study… It's what you're here for, right?"_

_Meredith stood, "I like you Addison, I like you a lot so just… wait."_

"_Yeah…" Addison nodded, "Yeah ok. I'll wait." She turned and went to go home, but stopped, "Meredith?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I like you too."_

I came out here the next day. We slept together, I agreed to wait for her, she has exams in a week, and I got on my laptop and booked last minute flights. I came out here. I think I needed a change; I needed to think about what I wanted. And I needed to see my friend again. So yeah, coming to L.A. wasn't… I'm not running away, or hiding. I'm waiting and I'm thinking. And I'm freezing some of my eggs just in case it doesn't work out because after this… after this I'm done. No more men. No more dating. I've spent too much of my life hung up on one guy or another.

Don't get me wrong, I know why Naomi asked me to talk to you, I get it, otherwise why would I be here, right? But I'm fine. I am. And I came here and I've talked to you today because, well I needed to tell someone. If anyone at Seattle Grace found out I'm sleeping with- that I'm in love with her… I needed to tell someone. And I don't think Naomi knows how to hear it. But you do. I mean you're a shrink right? You must have crazier people then me come in here."

Violet Turner smiled broadly at the red head in front of her, she was ecstatic, beyond that. Addison was looking at her expectantly but Violet could only grin.

"Uh, Violet?" Addison asked, "Are you ok?"

Violet was beaming, "I can't believe it."

"What?"

"God, I had you… I expected you to be completely reluctant, to be unco-operative, to avoid and dodge everything I asked but… wow. This is amazing Addison. This is just… Wow. Thank you Addison."

Addison frowned at Violet but nodded, "Right, so uh… Have I passed the test?"

"With flying colours." Smiled Violet, the two women stood and walked to the door of Violets office, "Addison, can I just suggest something?"

"Yea ok,"

"This girl,"

"Meredith,"

"Right, Meredith. Tell her how you feel."

Addison smiled, "Yea… I think I will…"

* * *

Addison looked around. She was at Yang and Burke's wedding, the ceremony hadn't started yet and she was looking for Meredith. She'd been back in Seattle for about a week but hadn't had the chance until now to speak to Meredith, and she was really hoping she'd get to speak to her before the wedding.

"Hey, Addison," She turned around and saw the blonde smiling at her as she moved forward in a long brown dress,

Addison grinned; Meredith looked gorgeous, "Hey,"

"How was L.A.?"

"Good." Addison nodded, "yeah, it was great."

"Great,"

"Yea," They smiled at each other in silence, "Uh… How do you think you went in your test?"

Meredith grinned, "I got my results back just then; I passed."

"I knew you would," Addison smiled, "You're an excellent doctor."

"Thanks," Meredith blushed, "So uh… we should talk,"

"Yeah," Addison looked around, then checked her watch, "Can we go outside for a minute?"

"OK,"

The two left the church and walked around the building to a secluded area hidden from view by a bush and a high fence, Addison reached out and took Meredith's hand in her own then the two came to a stop.

"So… uh," Addison swallowed, "How do you feel… about this… us… I mean, is there even and 'us' or was it just…" she trailed off,

Meredith bit her lip, half smiling, "There's an 'us'." She said, "I want there to be an 'us'."

"Yeah," smiled Addison "Yeah me too."

"Good."

"Yeah." Addison paused but then opened her mouth again, "And uhh… this us, uhh… are we… dating? Or-"

"We're dating." Meredith nodded, "We can date."

Addison grinned in relief, "Tonight? We could you come to my hotel?"

"I'd like that."

"And have you told anyone? I mean, are we going to tell people because uhh, I've been talking to Callie but I wasn't sure if-"

"How about we only tell some people?" Meredith suggested, "Just our friends."

"So… Callie, Yang, Stevens Karev and O'Malley?"

"Maybe not Alex,"

Addison nodded, "Yeah, ok, just those four."

"Those four." Meredith nodded, "Um… Addison?"

"Yes Meredith?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Addison grinned, "Ok."

Meredith smiled a little bit and moved forward, her lips met Addison's and they kissed softly and deeply, when they pulled away Addison knew she had to say it.

"Meredith, there's something I want to tell you."

"Ok." Meredith whispered with a smiled, "Tell me,"

"I… I really like you Meredith. I like you a lot."

"I like you too."

"No, I like you alot Meredith, I…" She swallowed, "I love you." Meredith pulled back a bit, frowning, "I don't know how much, I can't really… I know I love you Meredith. And I know I'm falling for you, and I know you're not ready to hear that and you're freaking out and ready to leave the country but this has been a long time coming Meredith and I just… I love you."

Meredith sighed, "Oh thank God."

"What?" Addison asked,

"Nothing just," Meredith smiled at her, "I love you too."

Addison grinned as relief washed over her, and the next thing she registered was kissing Meredith, they clung to each other and held each other, their tongues duelling and their hands wandering. Addison moaned and Meredith gasped as they kissed, it was perfect and lovely and they lost track of time as they continued to kiss in their secure place behind the bushes.

"Meredith what are you- Oh!" Izzie gaped at the sight before her, Meredith and Addison sprang apart,

"Izzie! Uhh, we were just, uhh…" Meredith trailed off as Izzie started to laugh, "What?"

"Nothing, nothing, only you…" She grinned, "It's about to start, uh, Dr. Montgomery, you better go get a seat."

Addison nodded mutely, "Uh, Stevens…?"

"Don't worry," Smiled Izzie, "I won't say anything,"

Meredith sighed, "Thanks Iz," she turned to Addison, "I guess we better go in. I'll see you later?"

"Yea." Addison nodded, "Later."

The three walked back to the church, Addison slipped in and took a seat quickly. Music started to play and she watched with everyone else as Meredith, Izzie, and Callie walked down the aisle and then the Wedding March started and Cristina moved down the aisle in a beautiful white dress, and as the Korean woman saw Burke smiling at her from the alter, she grinned.

The ceremony went on and Burke said those perfect vows he'd practiced in surgery, and then Cristina was asked to speak. She swallowed and bit her lips before finally opening her mouth.

"I don't know what to say. I'm not the kind of person who talks about this." She looked at her hand, "I even got Izzie to write something on my hand…" She sighed, "She told me I should just speak form the heart but you of all people know I can't do that. Because the heart is an organ. It pumps, and it circulates blood, it can get clogged occasionally but it doesn't speak. It doesn't have tiny little lips on it." She sighed, "And all of this Burke… If I didn't love you, if I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with you I never would have… We wouldn't be here in a church with everyone we know and I wouldn't be wearing all the things I'm wearing, I wouldn't have gone through hours of choosing cakes and dresses and everything. If I didn't love you as much as I do Burke I would never have agreed to have a wedding. It would be you and me in City Hall like I originally asked, but I do love you. I love you a lot. So I'm here, and I let your mother take my eyebrows and I'm marrying you."

Burke grinned; in his mind her vows were perfect.

Meredith and Addison didn't really have a chance to talk properly at the reception; they didn't want to be public about their new relationship. They waited until that night when Meredith followed Addison to her hotel room. They walked inside and Addison smiled at the blonde, "You look amazing."

Meredith smiled, "I don't think brown really suits me, but… light blue." She smiled moving closer Addison, "You look good in blue."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Meredith smiled, "Better then Salmon Pink,"

Addison laughed, "I like Salmon. I look good in Salmon."

"You look good in anything."

Addison smiled, she took Meredith's hand and led her over to the bed, Meredith moved in close to Addison, so close they were touching, and she reached behind Addison, slowly unzipping the back of her dress.

Addison's hands moved the Meredith's neck; they went under the curtain of her hair and unclasped the strap from around the blonde's neck. Her arms then fell back down as Meredith slowly pulled the blue dress down over Addison's shoulders, and Addison pulled her arms from the sleeves, before raising them as Meredith gather the dress in her hands and pulled it gently upwards, over Addison's head, and dropped it on the floor.

Addison unzipped the side of Meredith's dress and the bodice fell to one side as the red head's arms snaked around Meredith's waist, the blonde stepping out of the brown pool of fabric and out of her shoes.

Meredith smiled at Addison, and slowly stepped backwards, toward the bed, Addison walked forward and out of her own heels and the two fell onto the bed.

Meredith sat Addison at the head of the bed, so the attending surgeon was resting against the headboard as Meredith stood on her knees, each of her legs on the outside of Addison's as she rolled the red head's stockings down her long legs.

Meredith moved back up and straddled Addison, sitting in her lap before leaning forward and kissing her softly.

Addison moaned and let her hands pull Meredith in closer, one wrapped around her waist, the other tracing a soft line up and down Meredith's spine.

"I love you Addison," Meredith whispered,

Addison smiled softly and looked Meredith in the eye, "I love you too."

They kissed again and Addison let her hands reach up to Meredith's beige strapless bra and unclasp it gently, Meredith smiled and her hand cupped Addison's breast over Addison's white lace bra.

Addison pulled back and looked at the woman before her, "Oh Meredith," She whispered, "You're beautiful."

Addison flung Meredith bra to the floor then lifted Meredith up so the blonde was propped on her knees, Addison pressed a short kiss to Meredith's lips and then she lowered her head and kissed down Meredith's neck and to the valley between her breasts.

"Addison," Meredith whimpered softly, and her hands unclipped Addison hair before burying in the deep red mass,

Addison looked up, "Let me love you." She murmured softly, one of her hands moving along the back of Meredith's thigh, the other resting softly on her waist,

Meredith smiled down at her and whispered softly in reply, "Only if you let me love you too,"

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_If you don't get parts of it i can explain, lol, but uh yeah... hope you liked it :)_

**_Review! x]_  
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